Thought patterns are very interesting to me; how one thought can lead you somewhere unexpected and yet, it seems as though it was intentional from the beginning. I have been dealing with a range of not-so-easy emotions these past weeks, and they mainly fluctuate between red-hot anger and bitter sadness. Both, of which are simply killing me, after all the work I have put into my new path and promise to myself to let things go that I cannot change. When the anger and sadness briefly fade away, I start to feel my altruistic side kick in and it creates an empathy for the person I am angry at. I find myself making excuses for being treated a certain way, and wanting to reach out and solve the problem, encourage help and accept a truce for the sake of 'closure'.
Altruism is one of the greatest characteristics any human can possess. It is the opposite of being selfish. It is the sacrifice of your time, energy, love or money for the sake of someone else, with no expectations of anything in return. Although, in return, comes peace of mind that good things happen to good people and what goes around, comes around.
With that in mind, and my struggle of anger (which only harms me) or try to resolve an issue (which is unresolvable), I wondered why I think this way, while others would just stay mad, or simply not care or repress the feeling all together. It was this thought pattern that brought me to the word Enneagram - which means design of nine and it's a system that can be used as a map to journey into our personality. According to this system, there are nine personality types, each with unique gifts, talents, motivations, sensitivities, and weaknesses. A complex system showing us our habits of mind, false assumptions, asset and liabilities, feelings and behavior patterns.
I took the free test. Download here.
My test score led me to Type 2 Personality - The Helper.
The Helper:
Caring, Interpersonal type. Two's are empathetic, sincere & warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, & self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering & people-pleasing. They are well-meaning & driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness & with acknowledging their own needs.
At their Best: Unselfish & altruistic; they have unconditional love for others.
Basic Fear: Of being unwanted or unworthy of being loved.
Basic Desire: To feel loved.
Two's are most interested in what they feel to be the "really, really good" things in life - Love, closeness, sharing, family & friendship.
I wouldn't want to be labeled any other way. I am the quintessential "Helper". Those are my fears, my desires and my best attributes. With this new information in hand, I can study the Enneagram in depth to learn more about my patterns and what to watch out for and how I better relate with others. There are a few books on this subject, so off I go to the library!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2013
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